Month: August 2010

ABC is back in session.  We’ve got 11 (I think it’s 11) students.  They are in the middle of their first week, and it is going well (though in all honesty they haven’t really been here long enough for things to go poorly).  We played paint ball tonight, students vs. staff, and frankly we crushed them.

I’ve been trying to teach my self how to use Joomla.  It is a content management system for websites.  I’m hoping to be able to use it for the BMCR website.  It allows multiple people to edit it, and you don’t have to know any html.  I’m pretty excited about it.  I’m going to start with a default template, and maybe by next year I’ll be comfortable enough with it to look into purchasing a different one.  I’m talking a lot but not saying much so I’ll stop now.

Psalm 143 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness. And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified. For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead. Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate. I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands. I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah. Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit. Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble. And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.

It amazes me how David can so succinctly say what my heart feels. I can’t express it nearly so eloquently, but it is what I mean (at least some of the time).

Proverbs 15:25 The LORD will destroy the house of the proud: but he will establish the border of the widow.

Again with the pride thing. Scary.

Ezra chapter 7. I’ve always heard the king of Persia get ripped on. Every one always goes on how he’s just trying to bribe God. I guess that has always bothered me. Is it recorded else where that the king gave similar gifts to other gods? He was honoring God so things would go well in his kingdom. Is that wrong? God had made it very clear what He did to those who did not honor Him. As I think about it behind this question is another one. The purpose of man is to glorify God. Now I have been taught that I can offer nothing to God. I am totally and utterly dependent on Him. How can I stand before God, who holds my life in His hands and say, “I’m glorifying and honoring You just because. It really has nothing to do with what You have done for me.” Is it really so bad to give glory and honor to God because of what He has done/is doing for me? It’s getting late, and this isn’t something I’ll figure out soon.

I took this week off, and I have to say it’s been really nice.  I’ve stayed up late, slept in late, taken naps, and basically lazed around.  I have been trying to get to bed earlier though.  I went with Tom to the Young Life shoot yesterday.  That was fun, though it was really hot out, well over 100.  Today I just hid in my office and read.  This evening I moved from my trailer to the dorm.  Jose is back (he was my roommate second semester of last year), it is good to see him again.  I am sad he’s only here for the first semester of Arrowhead, but such is life.

Proverbs 14:16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.

Proverbs 16:26-27 In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

It has been one of those days.  I have been struggling trying to tame my heart and mind, but I’ve basically just ended up praying and asking God for forgiveness… a lot.  I know I should be in awe of my God because He has granted that forgiveness, because He has shown me His love, yet mostly what I feel is shame at what I am.  Maybe that is my problem (or at least one of them).  I should focus less on me and more on Him.  Duh.  Any ways this has been a depressing paragraph.  Onto the questions.

I guess my title is miss-leading.  I think I actually only have one question.  How are we as humans to consider/view ourselves?  I recently heard the saying “God doesn’t make junk.”  My first thought was “That’s a nice churchy way of trying to make people feel good about themselves.”  As I’ve thought about it more I haven’t been so sure.  On the one hand we all are junk, actually worse than junk seeing as how we (if we get our “rights”, what we deserve) should be in hell.  On the other hand Christ died for all of us, that the world could be saved which makes us invaluable (though still going to hell unless we acknowledge Christ’s lordship).  Both of these facts if taken by themselves lead to twisted views of God.  How often I act as if this is an either or question and forget that both views are Biblical (I’m not taking the time to prove either statement, but don’t take my word for it I’m wrong more often than I’m right).  I’m tired.  It is time to go to bed.

Psalm 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Funny I should read this Psalm tonight.

Proverbs 11:12 He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace.

P.S.  Reading over this again it looks kind of bleak.  That is ok.  I’m tired, and yes from time to time I have struggles and doubts.  It amazes me what a good nights sleep will do for those struggles and doubts.

The summer is done, and as sad as I am to see most of the summer staff go, I am also glad.  Things can slow down, I can get some rest, and college students are coming.  We went up the mountain yesterday, and three of us decided to bike down.  Only one of us made it the whole way.  Jeremy blew both his tires, I wiped out in some gravel, but Grant made it.  I hit pretty hard, and I’m sore today.  Here is a picture of my new “battle scar” (a.k.a. monument to my stupidity).

That was the worst one.  Most of the rest of it is road rash (though I got it on my shoulders, back and head).  I do have to say mountain biking down a mountain is a lot of fun.  It’ll be a while before I try again though (maybe next summer).

Psalm 138:8 The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me: thy mercy, O LORD, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine own hands.

I am the work of His hands. That almost seems sacrilegious. As I sit here and try to puzzle out my God I really am glad I cannot understand Him.

Four more days and camp is done.  It will be sad to see the staff go, but nice to get some rest.  I am nearly finished with the students intranet.  I’m hoping to get it all done tomorrow.

Psalm 135:3 Praise the LORD; for the LORD is good: sing praises unto his name; for it is pleasant.

II Chronicles 35:21-22 But he sent ambassadors to him, saying, What have I to do with thee, thou king of Judah? I come not against thee this day, but against the house wherewith I have ware: for God commanded me to make haste: forbear thee from meddling with God, who is with me, that he destry thee not. Nevertheless Josiah would not turn his face from him, but disguised himself, that he might fight with him, and hearkened not unto the words of Necho from the mouth of God, and came to fight in the valley of Megiddo.

God told the king of Egypt to go to war. What’s more the king of Egypt knew it was God. God does work in unbelievers hearts. I don’t know how, or why, but He does.

So for the past week or two I’ve been trying to set up an intranet for the Arrowhead students.  Other staff members must be able to update it without knowing any html.  So I decided to use WordPress as a content management system (WordPress is what I use for this blog).  My problem has been the server.  I have two separate networks here at BMCR.  One for staff and another for guests and students.   The staff have to be able to access the server on the student network, and I’ve been having gobs of trouble getting that to work.  I finally figured out how to do it today (if your interested let me know and I’ll explain it).  It isn’t really a very pretty solution, and requires a bit of work on my part, but it’ll do.  I’ll stop now, before you get bored (again).

II Chronicles 34:27 Because thine heart was tender, and thou didst humble thyself before God, when thou heardest his words agains this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, and humbledst thyself before me, and didst rend thy clothes, and weep before me; I have even heard thee also, saith the LORD.

Again, it was because of the kings humility. There is something so incredibly important about understanding my place in relation to God, and yet this is one of the things I struggle with the most.

It appears I haven’t done this for a week.  That’s ok, seeing as I haven’t had much to say I figured I shouldn’t bore people to death.  Going by nap count this weekend was actually better than last because I got three in instead of two.  J.D. and Cree’s wedding went well.  It was short and simple, but I liked it.  Other than that I have nothing to say.

II Chronicles 33 Manasseh becomes king. His father was a good king, but Manasseh was evil. God punished him, the king of Assyria took him captive. During that captivity Manasseh humbled himself and repented before God. God restored him to his throne. He leads the entire nation astray, sacrifices his children to idols, yet when he repents God has mercy on him. I foolishly look at that and feel good, because my sins aren’t nearly as “bad” as that. Yet they are, and God shows me the same mercy and grace He showed Manasseh. It blows my mind.

It was a good weekend, but I haven’t much to say about it, other than I got two naps in.

II Chronicles 30:8-9 Now be ye not stiffnecked, as your fathers were, but yield yourselves unto the LORD, and enter into his sanctuary, which he hath sanctified for ever: and serve the LORD your God, that the fierceness of his wrath may turn away from you. For if ye turn again unto the LORD, your bretheren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land: for the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.