I have a lot rolling around in my head tonight. Confession vs. change. Dying to self. Submitting to the Holy Spirit. The correct out working of my faith so that, and in order to, bring glory to God. This is my purpose, the reason for my existence.
I do not want to fall into the trap of believing that knowledge and “good conversation” are a substitute for action. Love. Why do I lack it? Is it because my belief in God’s love is to small? Is it because I have (deep inside where I don’t admit it) a belief that I am some how intrinsically lovable? Why am I so quick to see others sin and so slow to see mine? Why do I insist others stop sinning while I do not need to ? Why is God’s grace only for me and not others? All of this ties back into love, humility, submission, a complete denial of self. I’m sorry, I’m rambling.
Psalm 70 Make haste, O God, to deliver me; make haste to help me, Oh LORD. Let them be ashamed and confounded that seek after my soul: let them be turned backward, and put to confusion, that desire my hurt. Let them be turned back for a reward of their shame that say, Aha, aha. Let all those that seek thee rejoice and be glad in thee: and let such as love thy salvation say continually, let God be magnified. But I am poor and needy: make haste unto me, O God: thou art my help and my deliverer: O LORD, make no tarrying.
This psalm almost perfectly says what I’m trying to say. Father please quickly come. I cannot do this on my own. I do not know how to submit. I cannot comprehend dying to myself. It is only because of the Holy Spirit’s work in me that these things can happen. I am poor and needy make haste; help me and deliver me.
Proverbs 2:10-12 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
II Kings 22:18-20 But to the king of Judah which sent you to enquire of the LORD, thus shall ye say to him, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, As touching the words which thou has heard; Because thine heart was tender, and thou has humbled thyself before the LORD, when thou heardest what I spake against this place, and against the inhabitants thereof, that they should become a desolation and a curse, and hast rent thy clothes, and wept before me; I also have heard thee, saith the LORD. Behold therefore, I will gather thee unto thy fathers, and thou shalt be gathered into thy grave in peace; and thine eyes shall not see all the evil which I will bring upon this place. And they brought the king word again.
A tender heart and humility.